Unbalanced and failing!
by Jacqui Barclay
So lately I’m feeling out of balance. I am really trying to keep my work and home life even and on track but to be honest I feel like I’m failing. Work is building and going well but my energy levels are dropping, and my brain is refusing to fire on all cylinders. My message and email responses are getting shorter and shorter and my social life is non-existent. I feel like I’m not a good friend, wife or mother right now. My focus has been on my passion and building my wellness centre for the last 6 months but as a result everything else is suffering. My washing resembles Mount Vesuvius and no matter how much I do and try to catch up, I’m always two steps behind. My children haven’t been getting the healthy home-made meals as often and trying not to react to every little thing once I’m home is probably one of the biggest challenges. These are just some of the things that have changed for us since starting my business.
My children were lucky enough to have me home on and off for 17 years. Now I’m working 6 days a week to build my dream and its been an adjustment for us all. What I have learnt and now understand is that I have options here! I choose how I see a situation and how I react to it. I could throw in the towel, see it as too hard, feel the shame and guilt of not being there as often for my family, justify why so many businesses fail in the first 2 years and go back to being personally unfulfilled and sacrifice my wants and dreams for everyone else OR……
I could hang on to my passion, realise how blessed I am to be able to help others and share the information that has changed my life, see the need for me to be able to help so many more people struggling mentally, physically or emotionally with their own health and well being, be surrounded by like minded people who keep me grounded and true to my vision, inspire my children to never give up and to do whatever it takes to follow what you believe is your purpose.
There will always be sacrifices and I’m ok with that. I must remind myself that I am not super woman, and something always has to give. If my family feel the same amount of love from me despite me not being there as often then that’s all that matters. I can deal with my house looking like a war zone, I can give my children more responsibility and not have to hover over there every move, I can step back and give my husband space to step into some of my roles and watch his confidence grow, I can accept that I haven’t the energy to be all things to all people. I can apologise to those I haven’t seen or feel neglected by my absence and say that I love them and as soon as I can, we will catch up for a wine and a chat.
In saying this I must also take care of myself! This is what us mothers find the hardest. If we are overworked, overtired, depressed and stressed then all that will happen is that our body will manifest those thoughts and feelings physically. We get run down and sick and then what can we do?......NOTHING
I have found myself change over the last few years. Despite being 34, my body has become a lot more sensitive to pretty much EVERYTHING! I really need to stay on top of reading the signals my body and mind give me, otherwise my adrenal fatigue sets in and I am out for 2 days with only enough energy to get to the toilet and back. Nothing frustrates me more than being incapacitated and not being able to do what needs to be done. I usually push my luck and the universe kindly kicks my butt by reminding me in no uncertain terms to take note.
I am learning to be more patient and gentle with myself. Giving myself permission for downtime, meditating to reset, delegating and asking for help and not focusing on the less important things (eg. housework) Taking care of my body using holistic therapies, scheduling that massage every fortnight and not feeling guilty for it.
Our health and well being IS the most important thing and that is how we can ensure we will be the best version of ourselves for the many different roles we play in our lives.